Between the ages of six and eight, I had the Saturday morning tradition of waking up before everyone else in the household, creeping downstairs to the kitchen, and making myself a bowl of orange sherbet ice cream for breakfast. No, it wasn’t a healthful choice for the first meal of the day, but considering the sugary cereals advertisers and grocery stores pushed on kids, it probably wasn’t any different.
As an adult with a mounting sense of mortality and desire to shrink my waistline before my fortieth birthday, I’m throwing away all conscious healthy choices for my birthday to relive this once sacred childhood ritual.
Using the recipes for homemade sprinkles from the Martha Stewart site and five-minute ice cream from Jerry James Stone’s video, I set out to create my version of confetti ice cream.
I should’ve predicted as much.
First, the sprinkles. Y’see how long and classy and fancy-looking those sprinkles are on the Martha Stewart site? They look more like candy sticks, but whatever. Anything that woman touches or looks at turns all crafty and crap. I couldn’t get the consistency right. After pouring the thin lines of gel-infused sugar goop, they flattened out like overfed gluttons loosening their belts after a smorgasbord.
Okay, no problem. I’ll just cut them into itty bitty pieces so they’ll resemble confetti. That’s the theme of these birthday treats anyhow.
Of course it didn’t turn out that way. Some pieces resembled pebbles, others eraser dust. It was a colorful, vanilla-flavored mess.
Then the ice cream. I failed my favorite dessert. I even followed the directions! I used real rock salt and not an entire canister of table salt like I norma-lazily would have. I went the extra mile!
Yet the ice cream would not set. Five minutes of shaking, and I still had sugared cream. Ten minutes and I still had sugared cream. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. This recipe had made it arms and shoulders day for me, but it couldn’t make properly set ice cream.
Not even the freezer could salvage it. Sure, it froze the mixture, but it turned it into something horrible. It gave the cream the texture of Halo brand ice cream. You know, the “healthy” ice cream? The dessert with the texture of frozen mud that flakes like shaved potatoes when confronted with a spoon?
Ruined. My ice cream was ruined. It’s not the first time I botched a recipe. *sigh* I guess there’s nothing to be done. Better move on to this birthday special.
If you were a TV watching kid in the 80s and 90s, this may have been a familiar sight for you. Pee-wee’s Playhouse was king of the airwaves on Saturday mornings, and we kids were his loyal subjects. There was no other show like it. Puppets, clay animation, live actors, cartoons, eye-searing decorations, toys, screaming, and snack times.
Everyone remembers screaming at the secret word, the 1950s-19060s kitschy aesthetic, Conky and his obnoxious digital stuttering, and Miss Yvonne’s generous cleavage that somehow didn’t rile up the censors. But the snack times were one of the most overlooked and underappreciated segments of the show.
Almost every episode had one segment about food, at least early on in the show’s run. Besides getting ideas for noshes, we got to peer into the weird world of Pee-wee’s living food. Yep, the playhouse didn’t house just a manchild and his talking furniture and puppets. Ingredients with eyes, mouths, and agency carried out their own playtimes, dramas, and shenanigans. It was a little bit of extra fun in what was already a brain blowout.
Toward the end of the series, snack times became fewer and farther in between. You could tell they were running out of steam. There was an episode in the last season where they talking about water being a snack. Yeah, it’s healthier than some of the other snacks they featured, but geez!
With my sad little ice cream in hand… bowl… whatever… and a lot of GIFs to challenge bandwidth limitations, let’s take a look at my top fifteen snack times throughout Pee-wee’s Playhouse.
#15
Episode 1: Ice Cream Soup
The secret word for this entry is DOOR !
Could I have chosen a more salt-in-the-wound snack time to begin this list?
Anyway, in the inaugural episode, we’re introduced to the general wackiness of the inhabitants of the playhouse and their friends and neighbors. The big deal of the day is everyone coming over to help themselves to Pee-wee’s pool. Our oddball host is happy to welcome them all and give them free run of his backyard while he entertains the viewers.
Toward the end of the episode, Pee-wee makes ice cream soup. It’s super simple: A few scoops of ice cream and plenty of chocolate syrup mixed up until it’s a softer texture. Two things make this snack time memorable for me: The first is the creepy chocolate syrup dispenser that drips chocolate out of its schnoz, and the second is Randy.
Randy was the resident bully, causing mischief and disrupting the peace whenever he could. Maybe he existed because the writers wanted to teach kids how to deal with bullies in their own lives. Maybe he was too much for Puppetland juvie to handle. For whatever reason, everyone let him stay in the playhouse. Bless his heart, maybe Pee-wee was too kindhearted to kick him out the door.
Even snack time wasn’t safe from the reach of Randy’s stubby, disjointed marionette arms. Upon seeing Pee-wee make a batch of ice cream soup, Randy decides to “help” by jumping on Pee-wee’s hand while it’s on the syrup dispenser. With Pee-wee’s snack sufficiently ruined, Randy glides up into the air to wherever he goes to plot his next bout of mischief.
Pee-wee wails like a five-year-old whose otherwise trouble-free world is coming to an end. But Conky 2000, the brains of the group and keeper of the secret word, rolls over to give Pee-wee some hope. “There’s a s-s-s-solution *rippling digital effects* to every problem! J-just add more i-i-i-ice cr-r-r-r-ream-muh-muh-muh!”
Happiness renewed, Pee-wee gets to work in a bigger bowl, making enough for the entire playhouse. Perfect timing, as a sudden rainstorm has everyone in the pool scurrying inside.
Hey, that gives me an idea!
Ice cream soup! This is a lot better than eating it in those sad clumps, and the hint of chocolate makes it taste better. Thanks, Conky! You saved snack time!
#14
Episode 10: The Cowboy and the Cowntess
The secret word for this entry is GOOD !
We’re getting fancy in the playhouse now. For this snack time, we’re making French toast. Pee-wee advises that since this is being done on the stove, “be sure to ask your parents or someone older than you to help!” Looking back on this, I do appreciate the writers giving kids warnings like these. It taught us that you can have fun while staying safe. Didn’t stop us from climbing up on roofs to jump down onto trampolines, though.
Pee-wee has assistance from “Chef” Conky, who gives us a rundown of ingredients. “*bbbrrrrrttt* E-eggs, buh-buh-bread, a-a-and milk-k-k-k!”
“Oh, yeah! Ha ha! It helps if the bread is just a little bit dry,” Pee-wee suggests, making the traditional French gesture and kiss with this fingers for a bit of extra class.
If you’ve made French toast before, it’s pretty straightforward. But Conky and Pee-wee give step-by-step directions. Props to the actor in the Conky suit for not tipping over the bowl while they were mixing the eggs and milk. Looking at it, it’s either a shallow bowl or deep dish.
“Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! We’re going to turn this ordinary piece of bread into French toast!” Pee-wee says with gusto, and he coats the bread with the eggy mixture.
The only boeuf I have is that Conky never tells us at what temperature or how long to cook the bread. I guess until it’s golden brown. That should be good enough.
#13
Episode 4: Now You See Me, Now You Don’t
The secret word for this entry is LITTLE !
Snack times in the early days were never straightforward events. When anyone fetched something from the fridge, there was always a look into the world of Pee-wee’s sentient, edible neighbors. I don’t think we as kids put much thought into these entities, but as an adult, I find myself considering their lives. Did they glibly accept their fates? Did they have dreams? Were they ever afraid of being eaten? Did Pee-wee ever have second thoughts about eating these little guys?
Pee-wee has set up a salad bar on his butcher block. Not the traditional type with sneeze guards and that one diner who always bogarts the pizza and dessert sections, but a colorful array of ingredients sitting on plates. As for the dining plates themselves, Pee-wee keeps them in the fridge so they’ll stay cold. No, I’ve never heard of people doing that, either, but it’s Pee-wee so we won’t question it. Just like we won’t question the food in the fridge trying to sleep while the food in the freezer rocks out.
Pee-wee proceeds to tell us that if we don’t have a salad bar at home, just ask a grownup to cut up some salad stuff. Again, I won’t question why common people would have salad bars installed in their homes.
He goes all out when making salads: Lettuce, carrots, zucchini, celery, broccoli, cauliflower, onions, green peppers, radishes, green beans, garbanzo beans, pinto beans, mushrooms (“I sure hope these aren’t the poison kind! *nibbles* Augh!”), bean sprouts (“Uh oh! Looks like hair… smells like hair… *tastes it* It is hair!”), and garnished with a few cherry tomatoes.
“Voila! A garden salad! Fun to make and fun to eat!”
I’m pretty sure this segment explains my desire to make my salads as colorful as possible.
#12
Episode 19: Tons of Fun
The secret word for this entry is COOL !
Not even halfway through the episode and Pee-wee has ducked out with the Playhouse Gang to play outside. Over the course of the show, we saw two different versions of the Gang, a trio of kids who earned the envious roles of being Pee-wee’s pint-sized guests. It’s probably worth exploring in a different blog entry or in a different project altogether, but I never did like seeing kids hang out with my favorite grownup heroes. I could imagine myself in that role, thanks.
Anyway, Cowboy Curtis and Miss Yvonne fill in for Pee-wee. They’re the perfect hosts. Curtis sings an off-the-cuff song about flowers and Miss Yvonne clog dances with clogs wished into existence by a rapping Jambi. It’s probably the most fun we had without Pee-wee around. I mean, Pee-wee’s cool—
—but we seemed to have just as much fun when Curtis and Miss Yvonne came around.
Snack time here is equally fun: Ice cream pudding! Pee-wee keeps his ice cream in the freezer, appropriately enough, but for some reason, he keeps his cakes in the breadbox. At least it’s not alive like the other food. I think.
To make ice cream pudding, get yourself a big bowl, some ice cream, and some cake. Miss Yvonne has politely purloined angel food cake, which sounds like the best kind of cake for this recipe. Its airy, spongy texture probably absorbs ice cream better than other cakes.
Get the cake into the bowl, then spoon the ice cream in there, and mush it all up with a spoon. I think a lot of kids would have enjoyed the somewhat messy aspect of this recipe. Sheez, I’m an adult, and I wanna give this a go.
Wouldn’t you know it? Pee-wee returns with an ice cream cake for snack time! But who says snack time needs to be for just one kind of snack?
Grownup Ellie thinks of her waistline when she thinks about eating all that sugary stuff. But Kid Ellie, who still lives somewhere in her mind, thinks she should try it sometime, just for the joy of it.
#11
Episode 16: Store
The secret word for this entry is MORE !
Pee-wee’s pretty excited to make today’s snack: Frozen fruit cubes! Since freezing stuff takes a while, he’s going to make them early on so the gang can enjoy them later in the show. Real life results may vary.
Orange juice, pineapple juice, grape juice, and lemonade make it into the ice cube trays. Pee-wee provides some acapella accompaniment (“La la LA LA LA LA la la!”) while pouring, because silence can’t exist in the playhouse, ever. Next comes the freezing part of the recipe, but you know that it won’t be boring. Once they see the ice cube trays, the French fries seize them and go on a sledding adventure.
You know, if my food came to life, I’d be reluctant to eat it. I mean, if it came to life without the aid of mold. But I don’t need any more mouths to feed.
Toward the end of the episode, Pee-wee goes to check on the cubes, only to find the fries are building an igloo with them. Upon realizing that their time with the cubes are up, they toss them back into the trays. Pee-wee’s cool with it and thanks them for their help.
Next Pee-wee dumps all the cubes into a big bowl to serve them. “Frozen fruit cube potpourri!” You’re a wild man, PW, a wild man.
#10
Episode 42: Fun, Fun, Fun
The secret words for this entry are ON / NO !
A historical moment for the secret word, to be sure. When the first version of the word was said, the playhouse screamed as usual, but if anyone said it “upside down,” they screamed upside down and the screen would flip. I can’t say I remember this one, but if I saw it as a kid, I would have thought it was mind-blowing that they’d take such a liberty with an in-show tradition. Grownup me does appreciate it, though.
Anyway, for snack time, we have cheese balls! And these aren’t the overly complicated ones either! Just get some grated cheese, roll it into a ball, and cover with chopped nuts. You can’t possibly mess this up.
Pee-wee might. He thinks cheese balls need to be baked in the oven. Seriously, PW, that method would get a cheesy, nutty mess all over your oven. But anything goes in the playhouse, and I’m sure he’d just get some forks and tell everyone to dig in.
Miss Yvonne provides an easier finish to the recipe: “We can just pop it in the fridge and chill!” I guess this is what she did before Netflix.
She puts them in the fridge, briefly interrupting some food playing jump rope. (Now I wonder if the fridge denizens live it up like this because they know they may be eaten one day. Live life to the fullest and all that, live today as if it were your last, and all that. Oh, God, I’m feeling more awful for these guys with every entry.)
Now we just have to wait a few hours. Well, we would if Pee-wee didn’t have a being that could bend the force of time itself. Clocky the metaphysical master speeds time up well past a few hours and speeds through February and into March as shown through a flipping calendar.
Since we’re on—
—the topic, I’m glad Clocky came into Pee-wee’s possession. A diabolical mind would do horrible things with that clock’s unholy powers.
Not fazed at all by missing nearly an entire month of her life, Miss Yvonne fetches the cheese balls, which are also untouched by time-bending magic. No mold—
—geez, let me finish. N—agh, nary a trace of mold to be found on these delectable morsels. Clocky, you can do magic things!
Speaking of delectable…
Ricardo and his arms come by to grace us with their presence. And because I love a decent set of male arms, he gets another place of honor in this post. If only kid Ellie knew what she’d learn to appreciate when she got older.
*ahem* Moving on.
#9
Episode 21: Spring
The secret word for this entry is BEGIN !
It’s springtime and Pee-wee couldn’t be happier. It’s his favorite season. “It’s when all the flowers start to grow, and the air smells fresh. Ha ha! It’s a time when nature gives everything a brand new start.” Pee-wee pauses thoughtfully. “I like spring. In fact, I love spring! I’m not gonna marry it.”
Pee-wee has another reason to be happy: Cowboy Curtis has arrived. Now the fun can really begin!
If you consider growing seeds to be fun, that is. Curtis plants some mystery seeds in a pot. With Clocky’s time-bending powers, we watch the seeds grow into a thriving plant. Magic Screen shows some footage of flowers blooming and fruits ripening, all played to ethereal harp music. All this beauty leads to one of the most disgusting snacks ever conceived: Grapefruit. You vile, awful writers.
Speaking of vile and awful, Randy drops in. What has beckoned the little underachieving punk? Why, the acidic “treat” that Curtis has kindly cut up. It just so happens that there are three halves of the fruit for three people to enjoy. Randy skillfully digs into the pulp to aim a stream of juice at Pee-wee’s face.
“It was an accident! Honest, fellas,” Randy claims, then dumbly mumbles out loud, “Suckers.”
Pee-wee and Curtis share a devilish grin before digging their spoons into their own fruits to squirt back. Randy has the nerve to be surprised, his lifeless pupils and eyebrows twitching and waggling as the juice runs down his gross, bulbous face.
“It was an accident!” Pee-wee and Curtis yell.
Grapefruit may not be a favorite of mine, but any time the playhouse bully gets his is a treat for me.
#8
Episode 3: Rainy Day
The secret word for this entry is HELP !
A rainstorm has Pee-wee and friends trapped inside for the day (not that they went outside that much during the show’s run, but just go with it). But rainy days make for excellent hot chocolate drinking weather, and Pee-wee tells us how to make some.
“The way to make hot chocolate is, you pour some chocolate and some milk into a pan, heat, and stir!
Well, okay, Pee-wee, but how much milk and chocolate? For how long? Or should I risk it all and deplete an entire bottle of syrup into how ever much milk the pan will safely allow? Should I boil it until a chocolately skin forms on the top?
Globey tugs on Pee-wee’s pants leg and asks if he’ll add any whipped cream. Or “kr-EHM,” since he has a vaguely French accent.
“Of course! I almost forgot! Ha ha! Oh, Globey, what would I ever do without your help?”
And everyone screams because it’s the secret word, but Globey’s ragged, shrill scream sounds like someone smashed his hand, which makes it that much funnier to me.
Pee-wee finds the whipped cream can in a rather compromising position. The fridge denizens are having quite the party and the whipped cream can is in the middle of it all, spraying its thick cream all over everyone. It’s… well, it’s supposed to be innocent, and it is when you’re a kid, but the guilty look he has on his face….
There will be no shaking of cans in this playhouse, not as long as Exercise Belt has something to say about it. Pee-wee gives it a go, getting the can and himself sufficiently shaken. As he spritzes cream on his hot chocolate, the can blows out way more than it should contain.
“Help!” Pee-wee cries.
*unhelpful screaming*
“No, really! HELP!”
*somewhat half-hearted and confused screaming*
#7
Episode 34: Let’s Play Office
The secret word for this entry is THAT !
After some running around, Pee-wee and Cowboy Curtis are fiending for a drink. The rest of the playhouse chimes in with their favorite choices, and now I have to wonder exactly how these guys consume anything. Yes, they’re living, thinking beings, but how does a chair chew hors d’oeuvres? What’s the digestive system of a magic screen? How on earth can Dirty Dog eat ice cream soup? Does the food melt into his fabric and he absorbs the nutrients that way?
I mean, in one episode, we actually see his puppeteer’s hand sticking out from his back. Does the hand grab the food and plop it into the stomach, or does he grimace and wait until the director yells “Cut” so he can go wash…
You know what, I’m putting too much thought into this. Let’s get to the punch making.
Since everyone wants different juices, Pee-wee does something outrageous: He mixes them all! Orange juuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiice, pineapple juuuuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice, straw-brerry juice, and grapefruit juice (ugh) make it into the punch bowl.
The dinosaur family conga-lines their way across the island, dressed a la Carmen Miranda with various fruits on their heads. [Note to self before hitting publish button: Conga or rumba? Must educate self on dance styles.] Pop and Sister dinos launch Brother into the air via spoon so he can drop the fruit into the punch.
Despite obviously clearing the entire bowl, Brother still lands on the edge in the next shot. He topples over and falls into the liquid. Not fazed by having a tinge of dino in his drink, Pee-wee helps the little guy out by ladling him out. It’s pretty cute.
But before enjoying the punch, Pee-wee proposes a toast:
“Here’s to everyone in the playhouse… and, uh, everybody at home… and everybody who I ever met… and everyone who I might ever meet. AAAANNND… everyone I possibly would never, ever meet… and everybody who’s married to them… and everyone who lives next door to those people and their children and, uh, the children of those children into the next generation… as well.”
If you need a toast to cover all bases, there you go.
#6
Episode 9: Monster in the Playhouse
The secret word for this entry is LOOK !
There’s a panic in Puppetland! Mrs. Steve, the neighborhood busybody, comes scrambling by to warn the playhouse of a monster on the loose. Pee-wee, who lives with sentient furniture and food that perform antics in his fridge, doesn’t believe in monsters. I guess you have to draw the line somewhere. But this does come to bite him later as a monster does indeed show up—inside the playhouse, no less.
Terrified but determined to keep his friends safe, Pee-wee decides that they need a hero… a hero sandwich. While he bravely assembles the meal, the monster entertains himself with the fridge inhabitants, who are putting on a rather cute performance, opening the door to laugh at them, then closing the door, then repeating the cycle like a kid wanting to see if the light stays on.
The monster does give Pee-wee some grief for not adding mustard, but after that, everything is more or less copacetic. Despite having two fully functioning tentacles, the monster seems incapable of feeding itself, so Pee-wee has to shove the sandwich into one of the two mouth holes, and it’s every bit as horrifying as depicted in the above screenshot. Even as an adult, this is kind of hard to look at.
Fortunately, Jambi is here to help us make sense of things. Once Pee-wee’s wish of understanding the monster is granted, we’re introduced to Roger. He’s from Monsterland, and everyone there is a big fan of Pee-wee’s show.
“We used to be afraid of it until we understood it,” Roger says in his oddly nasally yet endearing voice.
“Ha ha! I love that story!” says Pee-wee, and a new friend is made.
#5
Episode 14: Open House
The secret word for this entry is HOUSE !
This is the only episode that open with a health warning. See, back in the 80s and 90s, sun tea was a thing. My mom, Southern through and through, made it every chance she got, especially when we were stationed in Puerto Rico. It wasn’t until years later that scientists decided to spoil this honored tradition by warning us of dangerous bacteria. Pfft. I’ve gulped down coffee sitting overnight on my nightstand. Tea bacteria can only make me stronger.
This episode is also a special one, as it marks a new era of the playhouse.
A second season had been granted by the powers that be… or were. Production was moved from New York City to Los Angeles and the budget increased. Some regulars like Captain Carl and Tito were never seen again, but old friends got face lifts or upgrades. We even got some new friends like the exuberant Mrs. Renee and the muy caliente Ricardo.
Tcch. Lucky.
In-universe, Pee-wee is redecorating the playho—the place. Cowboy Curtis and Miss Yvonne come over to help out. Digging through the clutter, Miss Yvonne finds a fancy tea set, which absolutely delights her. Once Globey suggests having a celebratory tea party, Pee-wee and Miss Yvonne get to making some tea.
To make sun tea, you get a large, clean glass jar, several tea bags (Pee-wee just happens to have enormous tea bags, of course), a lot of water, and let the jar sit outside where the sun can heat it “in the natural way!” With some delicious sunborne bacteria for that extra kick.
My favorite part is where Miss Yvonne takes a cup over to Jambi. After sipping through a straw, he says, “I wish I had another cup. *pause* Wish? Did I say wish?” And he grants himself another cup. Does that count as the one wish of the day?
In any case, Pee-wee and the gang enjoy their sun tea, and I enjoy a few memories of running wild in the backyard with my friends while Mom’s glass tea jar glows amber in the afternoon sun behind the house.
#4
Episode 18: Why Wasn’t I Invited?
The secret word for this entry is ALL !
The Cowntess is throwing a birthday party and everyone is invited! Well, almost everyone. Pee-wee, Magic Screen, and Chairry didn’t get invitations. And I guess it would have been pointless to invite the stationary playhouse residents.
In any case, Pee-wee is livid and hurt. But he’ll show the Cowntess. He’ll show them all!
He’ll get back at them by making hors d’oeuvres! Yes, dining on celery decked out in peanut butter and cream cheese is certainly better than whatever barnhouse slop the hoity-toity Cowntess is serving. Pee-wee tries to have a little fun by hamming it up at the top-down camera over the kitchen island. Now I wonder how Pee-wee and the others grew accustomed to having cameras all over their home. Cripes, this post is making me put more thought into a silly kids’ show.
But you gotta feel for him. Pee-wee is trying so hard to enjoy his budget hors d’oeuvres. Even Chairry happily exclaims that they have these cream cheese and peanut butter-slathered celery sticks all—
—*sigh* to themselves. But everyone is still bummed.
Fortunately, this whole thing was a misunderstanding. Not the celery sticks, the not being invited thing. Reba delivers the invitations just as the Cowntess comes by to smooth over hurt feelings and personally invite the remaining ambulatory friends to her party. Maybe now they can get some decent snacks.
C’mon, you wouldn’t willingly have celery sticks for a party snack, would you?
#3
Episode 7: The Restaurant
The secret word for this entry is DAY !
One of Pee-wee’s unlikely friends was Captain Carl, played by the beloved and late Phil Hartman. He was a weather-beaten, crusty fellow who dressed like the Gorton Fisherman’s cousin but gnarred his lines like a pirate. He was a fun character, but Season One jettisoned him. Shame. It would have been fun seeing him interact with the new playhouse residents.
Carl has perfect timing, because it’s snack time. “Good!” he happily growls. “I haven’t had a bite to eat all day!”
“You and your secret words! One of these days—”
Pee-wee is gracious enough to play host. In fact, he’s going to play more than host. He’ll be playing cashier and waiter in his make-believe restaurant. Because if he can slyly inconvenience someone for his own entertainment, he’ll seize the chance. Behind that big heart is a tiny mean streak.
From sophisticatedly greeting Carl to paging “Carl, party of one,” Pee-wee takes his time getting Carl to the table. He even decorated it with a red cloth and a candle. Hmm, classy!
He tempts the starving sailor with the menu featuring steak, baked potato, and salad (with a special Playhouse dressing of liver and noodles). Unfortunately, Chez Playhouse is out of those delicious vittles and has only a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to serve. Carl grudgingly accepts it. Then he balks at the $2 bill. Hey, buddy, most restaurants these days would charge $7 for a simple fare like that!
Incensed, Carl pays his bill without ever putting a bite mark on the sandwich. Pee-wee slips the money into his till, an impish grin on his face.
Never visit the playhouse on an empty stomach is this entry’s lesson.
#2
Episode 38: Front Page Pee-wee
The secret word for this entry is HOW !
Making a newspaper for the playhouse sure makes an editor hungry. Pee-wee is super excited to make this one. The ingredients are as follows:
Raaaaiiisins
PEEEAAAANUUUUUTS
SUNFLOOOOOWER SEEEEEEDS
AAAALLLLMOOONDS
BANANAAAAAA CHIIIIIIIIPS
and coconut shavings.
I love that Pee-wee grows more cheerfully aggressive with each ingredient. But this segment gets even better when the fridge denizens publish their own adorably tiny contribution to the newspaper. But my question is how—
—anyone else can read it without a magnifying glass. Well, I guess the dinosaur family and the ants.
#1
Episode 27: Fire in the Playhouse
The secret word for this entry is ONE !
Another historical moment in the playhouse. This was the episode where snack time began… but never finished.
Gasp! Zounds and horror! If snack time never truly happened in this episode, then why did I mention it? Let’s get philosophical here. Snack time at Pee-wee’s playhouse isn’t just about food. It’s a state of mind. A morsel for the senses. Something for the imagination to nibble on.
What happens after “the snack time that never was” makes this one—
—memorable for me.
It starts out with the promise of a classic: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Pee-wee fetches the peanut butter and jelly from the fridge, pausing briefly to enjoy the foods’ game show. Seriously, Pee-wee, these guys have dreams and ambitions. Maybe it’s time to consider another source of your sustenance. Maybe the fridge is giving these guys life. You may want to look into that.
Unfortunately, a prime ingredient is missing: Bread.
“Sorry, everybody,” Pee-wee says to the viewers. “I guess we’re going to have to have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, only… without the sandwich!” He chuckles and unscrews the top off the peanut butter jar. “Hold out your hand, Miss Yvonne.”
And she does!
Suddenly realizing what she’s doing, Miss Yvonne says, “Oh, wait, Pee-wee! I have a better idea. Why don’t we make some bread?”
“Make bread?” Pee-wee echoes, looking utterly confused as if he just learned bread doesn’t simply appear on grocery shelves. “How d’ya do that?”
Ingredients assemble! Milk, water, shortening or lard, butter, sugar, salt, yeast, and all-purpose flour!
If Pee-wee isn’t a reality bender, I’ll be surprised.
One—
Good cripes. A clock wipe later, we have our dough fitted snugly in the pan. Now to pop it into the oven at 350 degrees (Fahrenheit, natch), “and we’ll have fresh homemade bread in no time!” Time does matter, Miss Yvonne. How long do we bake the bread? For that matter, how much of each ingredient? Dag, you people!
(Okay, Miss Yvonne does say that it’s better if the kids at home had a cookbook and someone to help them. I just wanted to gripe.)
Little demon spawn Randy comes gliding in like a nightmare, wanting to know if the bread is ready yet. When informed that it isn’t, he posits that bread will cook in half the time if the temperature is higher. Consulting a cookbook, Pterri says that no such information exists in the recipe. No matter, Randy turns up the heat.
Hey, wait, you have a cookbook, Pee-wee? And you didn’t know there was a bread recipe in there? Dude, that’s one of the basics!
Anyway, playhouse fun ensues until there’s smoke filling the playhouse.
Fortunately, it was just smoke. Everyone is safe, but the bread is toast, no thanks to Randy. It could have been worse. Fireman Frank is here to teach us fire safety in Public Service Announcement form. From knowing how and where to leave the vicinity to replacing frayed wiring, Frank covers everything we’d been taught in the 80s and 90s, including the requisite fire alarms.
Miss Yvonne gets right up against Frank, making a comfortable cushion for his arm in her bosom.
“I have a smoke detector. In my bedroom. Over my bed.”
Though he’s bravely resisting looking down past her eyeballs, it’s probably safe to assume that Frank has a fire going on deep inside him. Family-friendly entertainment!
So those were my top fifteen snack times from the entire series run. I don’t know if this is how the foodie in me began, but I certainly do appreciate these little moments. I guess you could say they added a little flavor to the show.
Wait a minute. I just realized something. The last secret word for the number one spot was in fact “one”! That’s the kind of random touch that makes this blog fun.
Hey, I’m a poet! Didn’t know it!
