What’s the point of this blog?

To distract myself from my inevitable demise and cure boredom in addition to chronicling my ongoing efforts to become a better cook. Expect failures and missteps.

Why are you posting the recipe in the beginning of the entry?

Because I hate scrolling through miles of text before I get the recipe on other food blogs, which is the reason I visited the food blog in the first place. You don’t want to read my comments on a video but you want the recipe? I’ll give you the recipe first thing.

There may be times when I’ll hold off on a recipe until near the end if I want to save the surprise, though. But I promise these stunts will be few and far in between.

Are you seriously a bad cook?

I can boil water without burning it. (That can happen, believe it or not.) Following directions is easy enough, but I don’t have the creativity to make my own detailed recipes. As of this writing (May 2018), I don’t have the confidence to cook meat without somehow messing it up.

I’m a food blogger and your comments about saving the recipe until the end of a post makes my blood boil/hurts my feelings/blah.

I’m not telling you to change your format. If people enjoy reading your life story and seeing photos of your kids helping you in the kitchen before getting to the point of the post, then you’ve got an audience for life. You have your reasons, I have mine. This blog is a hobby for me; I’m not using it to pay my bills, nor am I building a community or surrogate family. Get the fuck over yourself, sweetie.

What is a brain pie?

Long story short, this was originally a personal challenge to draw 1,000 comics in five years. Life and other projects got in the way, and I realized in late 2017 that I just didn’t have the drive or desire to pursue the project. The name itself was something weird I came up with to match the general weirdness of my comics. Now it’s just a weird name for this food blog.

Did you watch Dinner and a Movie while it was on TV?

No. In 1995 when the show first aired, I was 13/14, and my main TV interests were Animaniacs, Freakazoid!, Mystery Science Theater 3000, and The Kids in the Hall. Cooking and the kind of movies they featured on DAAM didn’t interest me in the slightest. If I couldn’t make it into a sandwich, pluck it out of a wrapper, or nuke it in a microwave, it wasn’t worth my time. In 2011 when the show went off the air, I was 29/30 and a YouTube junkie. I have watched a few clips of the promo segments on YouTube. While I probably won’t watch the movies themselves, I think I would enjoy the cooking segments. The theme song, “Beans and Cornbread” by Louis Jordan and the Tympany Five, is catchy as hell, too.